As I age, I realize the importance of walking with purpose. I realize I must walk with the intention of not falling down. I find myself thinking more precisely of my steps and movements. And when, I don't, I fall. I mean, I really do fall. It's so strange, but true. In the past month I've experienced two separate examples of this. One day while working on breaking down a cardboard box (a simple task), I noticed out of the corner of my eye a forgotten task from earlier in the day. A piece of downspout was removed from the side of the house. I thought to myself, "Oh, it's supposed to rain later. I better put that back on now before I forget." I jumped up, without the normal, purposeful steps I take and promptly and painfully twisted my ankle on one small stone, causing me to fall and cut my opposite knee on a larger stone, and skin the palms of my hands as I caught my fall on the gravel in the driveway. Interestingly enough, my first thought beyond the pain was to wonder if anyone saw that. I was embarrassed at my own carelessness and frailty.
The more recent event occurred just this week. I had decided to ride my bicycle to a local cafe where I was meeting with a group of ladies. When I went to return home, I rode towards an unfamiliar route. The hill before me was incredibly steep, but I took a chance and went for it. I did this without thought for the possibility that it was too much. As I peddled on the steepest part, I began to slide backward. I jumped down from the bike, straddling it, fell to the right with the bike falling on top of me and all of my things popping out of my bike basket. This time I acquired a good deal of road rash on my elbow and forearm, bruised my inner thigh, and my shoulder. And, once again, I was most concerned with who may have seen me fall. I felt so irresponsible and foolish! I jumped up, gathered the spilled items, quickly placed them back into the basket, and quite literally ran the best I could up the hill pushing my bike. I wanted to prove that I was okay. It wasn't really all that bad. I really wasn't all that ridiculous.
I say all of this because I think of how I walk through life. I think about how I should walk through life. I realize anew that I must return to walking with purpose. I must walk with an awareness of my surroundings and the paths that I'm treading. It's not about denial, it's about safety, good health, arriving well and in one piece. It's about being able to continue the walk through life feeling well and being of sound mind and body and soul.
So, I think about this in terms of God's instructions to us and our walk through life. I think about the importance of walking with purpose, with intent, with the grace and gifts He's given us. ... me....
My life, and your life, our lives have meaning. Our lives impact others. Our lives are connected to a greater scheme than just our own ego or person. And, so I think to myself, "Walk with purpose, Kari. Walk with purpose, dear friend." We may not always walk knowing exactly where or why we're going, but we should always walk in faith, in trust. Trust that God will see us through to the finish. Keeping our focus on the path ahead. Walk with a purposeful world view.
I also wonder about the whole aspect of feeling embarrassed when I fell. And, I realize, I'm equally, if not more so, embarrassed when I fail to walk with purpose and fail others. Failing to live up to the quality of life others have come to expect of me. I want to hide, get up and pretend I'm not hurt or haven't fallen down at all. Sort of the, "That didn't just happen." mentality. Perhaps, those failures need to be faced with just as much purpose as walking with purpose. After all, do we not learn so much from failure? Are my falling down experiences not lessons in life as well? I wonder, should I have gotten up, looked around, and acknowledged to anyone witnessing the fall that I had made a poor choice? Or that I had failed to think the situation through clearly. Interestingly, enough, I was able to do so later on with those I trust and with whom I feel I have a caring relationship. Hmm... Who's to say that a random bystander couldn't be a person who cares. Did I just rob myself and maybe another of a new friendship by hastily brushing myself off and literally running away?
Okay, so I will claim a new approach to this purposeful walking, both literally and figuratively. Not only will I work to approach life with purpose, but I will work to approach those falling down or failing points with purpose as well. Oh, boy! I'm sure the Lord will give me opportunity for this learning. I hope I'm up for the course!